Five Tips For Talking To Adult Children About Your Estate Plan
If you are a parent with adult children, they should be an important part of any discussions you might decide to have with regard to the design and distribution blueprint of your estate plan. Communication is key. At Fisher Law LLC, we are proud to be leaders in solutions-focused estate planning. Here, our Boston estate planning attorney offers five tips for talking to your adult kids about your estate plan in Massachusetts.
Tip #1: Choose the Right Moment (Time and Place)
Estate planning is deeply personal. Even if your estate plan is not especially controversial, it can still be a very sensitive issue. With that in mind, you should start the discussion when emotions are calm and there is adequate time to talk without interruption. A comfortable, private environment encourages openness. As a best practice, you should generally avoid holiday gatherings and other potentially stressful family events.
Tip #2: Focus On Explaining Your Purpose
Adult children are more receptive when they understand your intentions. For that reason, you should emphasize that estate planning protects both your wishes and their peace of mind. It is generally a good idea to explain the role of a will, trust, and powers of attorney in ensuring stability and avoiding probate complications under Massachusetts law. You should also clarify that your decisions are based on fairness and practicality, not favoritism.
Tip #3: Make Sure to Clarify Roles/Responsibilities
Your children should have a clear and comprehensive understanding of their responsibilities. Notably, if you are naming one or more of your children as Personal Representative, Trustee, or agent under a durable power of attorney, you should be prepared to discuss these roles directly. Each position carries significant legal responsibility.
Tip #4: Encourage Questions and Be Prepared to Handle Emotions
You should expect questions from your children. That is especially true if your estate plan involves any provision that might not be expected. Of course, talking about death and inheritance can be uncomfortable for both you and your adult children. . You should try to give your children space to express feelings, ask questions, and raise concerns. It is best to listen carefully and respond with patience. Of course, you control your own estate plan but may want to either state or express indirectly that such a discussion is not a directive but an opportunity to inform and include them in your decisions made Still, you do not want to close the door to questions from your kids.
Tip #5: Know that You Can Revisit the Conversation
An estate plan should evolve as life changes. Encourage periodic discussions after major events such as marriages, births, or new investments. For example, some families may want to provide financial support for their grandchildren’s education. This may involve a discussion with adult children and in-laws to incorporate ideas that are important to them, e.g., 529 plans vs. specific bequests to a “pot plan” for all grandchildren vs. a separate irrevocable trust that provides specifically for this class of beneficiaries. Revisiting your plan every few years with family members and your estate planning attorney ensures continued clarity about your goals and objectives and alignment with Massachusetts law. You should keep your adult children involved in the process each and every step of the way. Transparency can help to make the process smooth.
Call Our Boston, MA Estate Planning Lawyer Today
At Fisher Law LLC, our Massachusetts estate planning attorney is compassionate, experienced, and solutions-first. If you have any specific questions or concerns about the estate planning process, please do not hesitate to contact us today for a fully confidential initial consultation. We provide estate planning services throughout all of the Greater Boston area.
